Swine flu season is here!
Well, obviously it isn't a recurring event, so such an off-the-cuff headline usually reserved for cheap employee newsletters and mailing lists really makes no sense. Nonetheless, a pandemic is upon us, and boy are we screw . . . . wait a second.
No, we aren't screwed.
Despite the outlandish coverage of this pandemic, at the end of the day we are facing a strain of influenza that, despite having just appeared, is little more dangerous than most strands of the flu that come and go every year. Some people are freaking out at the prospect of the Swine flu wiping all humans off the face of the planet, but it is best to step back and take a bit more restrained and relaxed of a view.
I'll preface, without any shame, that I was absolutely scared to death by the movie Outbreak, the Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman thriller about a killer Ebola-like virus wiping out mass amounts of humanity. Honestly, to this day, the first 30 minutes of that movie still irk me. It shows the relative ease with which a virus could spread across an entire continent.
Likewise, there was Stephen King's The Stand, which, for about 200 of its 1200 pages is excellent as it depicts a killer virus wiping people out. Of course, King went the usual route, taking a fantastic horror idea of a killer epidemic, only to turn it into a farcical, dopey supernatural story about the ultimate battle between good and evil. When L. Ron Hubbard's Battlefield Earth starts losing Scientologist's interests, don't be surprised if the Tom Cruise's and Will Smith's of the world flock to another ridiculous novel, The Stand.
But I digress. Does anyone find it slightly (and, no doubt, disturbingly) amusing that the majority of deaths have been old people and babies? What does this remind me of . . . hmm, I can damn near put my finger on it . . .
Oh, right - the FLU. As in, "I had better go to Walgreen's this month to get my $10 flu shot, or, God forbid, I'll be reduced to a diet of Campbell's soup and 7-Up for a few days."
Viruses are a scary thing, to be sure. The fact that 11 cases have popped up in our state is a bit troubling. But this all reminds me of the SARS "outbreak" of 2003. So, too, it reminds me of a favorite South Park episode:
An Indian casino just outside of South Park tries to buy up the town so it can build a superhighway through it to maximize profit. However, the citizens of South Park stand up to the owners of the casino, forcing Cheif Runs-With-Premise (clever name) to give a peace offering of blankets to the citizens - only, the blankets are infected with SARS.
The townspeople become ill, but Cheif Runs-With-Premise was not careful enough in his plan - his son contracts the feared virus as well. But, with the help of Stan Marsh, the fourth grader in a blue poof-ball hat, the townspeople heal and promise to reveal the cure to Cheif Runs-With-Premise, only if he promises to not demolish their town for construction of a superhighway.
The cure? Campbell's soup and 7-Up.
Here's hoping this Swine flu goes the way of SARS and disappears with a little common sense and little panic.
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I completely agree with you. I believe the media overplays this whole story, which causes the public to break out into a panic. Yes, we all must be informed about it; however, we should also make sure the people are educated about it. Pork sales have gone down ever since this whole swine flu has come about - which is strange, because you cannot acquire this flu by eating pork! This is proof that the main message needs to be clearly portrayed without sensationalism.
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