Don't forget your flu shot . . .

Swine flu season is here!

Well, obviously it isn't a recurring event, so such an off-the-cuff headline usually reserved for cheap employee newsletters and mailing lists really makes no sense. Nonetheless, a pandemic is upon us, and boy are we screw . . . . wait a second.

No, we aren't screwed.

Despite the outlandish coverage of this pandemic, at the end of the day we are facing a strain of influenza that, despite having just appeared, is little more dangerous than most strands of the flu that come and go every year. Some people are freaking out at the prospect of the Swine flu wiping all humans off the face of the planet, but it is best to step back and take a bit more restrained and relaxed of a view.

I'll preface, without any shame, that I was absolutely scared to death by the movie Outbreak, the Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman thriller about a killer Ebola-like virus wiping out mass amounts of humanity. Honestly, to this day, the first 30 minutes of that movie still irk me. It shows the relative ease with which a virus could spread across an entire continent.

Likewise, there was Stephen King's The Stand, which, for about 200 of its 1200 pages is excellent as it depicts a killer virus wiping people out. Of course, King went the usual route, taking a fantastic horror idea of a killer epidemic, only to turn it into a farcical, dopey supernatural story about the ultimate battle between good and evil. When L. Ron Hubbard's Battlefield Earth starts losing Scientologist's interests, don't be surprised if the Tom Cruise's and Will Smith's of the world flock to another ridiculous novel, The Stand.

But I digress. Does anyone find it slightly (and, no doubt, disturbingly) amusing that the majority of deaths have been old people and babies? What does this remind me of . . . hmm, I can damn near put my finger on it . . .

Oh, right - the FLU. As in, "I had better go to Walgreen's this month to get my $10 flu shot, or, God forbid, I'll be reduced to a diet of Campbell's soup and 7-Up for a few days."

Viruses are a scary thing, to be sure. The fact that 11 cases have popped up in our state is a bit troubling. But this all reminds me of the SARS "outbreak" of 2003. So, too, it reminds me of a favorite South Park episode:

An Indian casino just outside of South Park tries to buy up the town so it can build a superhighway through it to maximize profit. However, the citizens of South Park stand up to the owners of the casino, forcing Cheif Runs-With-Premise (clever name) to give a peace offering of blankets to the citizens - only, the blankets are infected with SARS.

The townspeople become ill, but Cheif Runs-With-Premise was not careful enough in his plan - his son contracts the feared virus as well. But, with the help of Stan Marsh, the fourth grader in a blue poof-ball hat, the townspeople heal and promise to reveal the cure to Cheif Runs-With-Premise, only if he promises to not demolish their town for construction of a superhighway.

The cure? Campbell's soup and 7-Up.

Here's hoping this Swine flu goes the way of SARS and disappears with a little common sense and little panic.

SEINFELD: The Greatest Sitcom of All-Time . . . any questions?

I think most everyone has certain things they go to when they need a mental break, when they need to get away from the humdrum crap of everyday life. For me, it's my favorite TV shows, movies, and music.

South Park was my getaway show for all of college - I grew up with its inappropriate humor and amateurish animation. Cartman's pudgy figure and insensitive remarks were the perfect combination to get me to laugh. Don't get me started on Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. Absurd humor is a personal favorite.

Then, I rediscovered a show that I also remember growing up with: Seinfeld. TV Guide called it the best sitcom of all-time, and I wholeheartedly agree. For nine seasons, Seinfeld was nothing but quality comedy, great characters, and the best observational humor of any comedy ever.

And nonetheless, as a proud owner of all nine seasons (Amazon.com seriously is an addicting site) I find it remarkable the jokes that went right over my head. The most notorious example, of course, is a season 4 episode "The Contest" in which Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer enter a bet of who can hold out the longest without . . . ahem . . . pleasuring themselves. I remember watching that (with my parents, no less - I'm sure their faces were red) when I was in elementary school.

But that is where the show's brilliance shines. I was maybe nine years old when I first saw that episode, and I laughed plenty of times. And yet, its tasteful, restrained treatment of rather lurid subject matter somehow averted any situation of me going to my parents and asking, "So why did they make a bet after George got caught with a Glamour magazine?"

Comedy shows are hit or miss, and I have my select few that I am absolutely in love with - Seinfeld, South Park, The Simpsons from the early days, and most recently Entourage and The Life and Times of Tim on HBO - but the pinnacle is, and always will be, Seinfeld. It had characters you could relate to, situations you probably found yourself in, and more laughs in a half-hour than any other show ever.

So as we approach the end of the semester and feedback is important in our peers' blogs, I ask you who is your favorite Seinfeld character, or your favorite Seinfeld episode / moment? Everyone has a different one, and that speaks even further to the show's brilliance.

Senioritis? Hell yes.

The majority of us in Journalism 420, I think it's safe to assume, are Juniors and Seniors. Our academic careers are at the very least half-over, and for many it is winding down to the very end. There is no doubt I'll be a little sentimental when I finally get my diploma in August (and if you're looking for extra tickets to the commencement, I'm not sure if I'm walking or not, so STOP SENDING MASS E-MAILS . . . . thanks ;-)

The College of Media has been pretty good to me. There have been a couple classes in the college that I've disliked, but the majority of them have been well taught and, even though I do not plan to go the newspaper reporter route, my skills were refined and increased enough where I feel comfortable going along the Marketing path I feel my career will take.

Nonetheless, and I preface by saying that I am NOT a pessimist - the requirements we need to graduate as a journalist are in major need of reevaluation.

To begin, I am taking six hours of Philosophy this semester. SIX. Alongside the fact that Philosophy is "the study of thinking" and is so mind-numbingly dull I want to tear what little hair I do have right out of my head, 40% of my workload this semester is in two courses that literally will have no bearing on my life once I'm done with them.

Likewise, there is a heavy emphasis, I've found, on 300-400 level classes as opposed to 200-level courses. What is the difference? It is an arbitrary number, because I know from experience some 200-level courses are in fact harder and have a heavier workload than a 300-400 level class. Nonetheless, as I started last semester to figure out how I was going to get out of her by August, I kept running into this whole conundrum where an arbitrary number would potentially dictate if I would have to take 8 or 11 hours this summer (I ended up on the short end of the stick - 11 hours this summer, ugh). Granted, that's my own fault for some weak schedules Freshman and Sophomore year.

I think I am just a little bummed at how mechanical these requirements are, and how arbitrary a lot of them are. I would love to ask someone in charge of delegating what constitutes a Quantitative Reasoning I as opposed to a II. Knowing how inept a lot of the upper-echelon administrators are at the U of I, I would expect I would get a roundabout answer, if any at all.